Bill Belichick Is Listening To Too Much Joe Rogan And Getting Rid Of All Of His Old Players

Have you ever tried DMT? Probably not, but Joe Rogan has and I’m starting to think Bill Belichick has too… As the sports world swirls in uncertainty Bill Belichick has decided to go on a vision quest to figure out how to kick start Version 3 of The Patriots Dynasty. HIs quest has lead him to start getting rid of all of the old players from Version 2 of the Patriots dynasty so they can turn over a new leaf. All of these recent event have got me thinking when Belichick isnt cutting up film and thinking about how to overthrow Rodger Goodell, he’s listening to The Joe Rogan Experience. Screen Shot 2020-03-23 at 9.19.10 PM

The wide array of guests Joe has on his show can sometimes get overwhelming, but after you listen to enough episodes you can catch on to a few reoccurring themes. Joe will talk about how he gets injections of PRP (Platelet Rich Plasma) or Mesenchymal stem cells to help stiff joints or torn ligaments, frequently telling his guests “I know a guy I’ll hook you up.” As if he were pushing some kind of longevity drug right out of his dorm room. Another one of those themes is Joe talking to his guests about getting on TRT (Testosterone Replacement Therapy,) which I don’t fully understand the science behind, but I do know Frank Thomas does those commercials where he posts up at the gym and gets a bunch of other dudes wives to hit on him.

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I don’t think Bill Belichick is concerned with the advances of other guys wives, unless they’re holding practice tapes of the Pats Week 6 opponent. I DO THINK Ol’ Billy is slamming PRP injections, loading up on Stem Cells, and going deep with the TRT all while getting excited to draft a QB in the 2021 draft.

I will say this, I may have to stop watching the NFL if Trevor Lawrence or Justin Fields end up in New England, because I don’t think I can watch another 15 plus years of the Patriots dominating the NFL, until Belichick dies on the sideline after winning his 14th Super Bowl. 

TRT, PRP, Stem Cells, and Joe Rogan have Belichick feeling young. All in the same week Tom Brady has left for Tampa Bay and Stephen Gostkowski was cut. Two of the most important pieces to the Patriots successes over the last 10 plus years will no longer be there. A younger Belichick may be exactly what the Patriots need, not some guy who doesn’t eat Strawberries or Tomatoes and some other guy who could never get out of the shadow of Adam Vinatieri. I feel like we get put into this position every other year, some crazy story comes out and everyone thinks the Patriots are done, they’re finally going to start declining, but it never happens. SURLEY this is finally the year the Patriots are done, right? Probably not. This may be exactly where the Pats want to be, nobody expects them to win the Super Bowl this year. I bet if the Pats went 3-13 everyone would be like, “well you know they lost Brady and they never went after an established QB,” or “Maybe this does mean Belichick was declining as a coach.” LCgif

Bob Kraft is probably laying on a massage table somewhere lamenting the loss of Tom Brady. Bill Belichick is sitting in his office at the Patriots facility getting a blood transfusion with a younger persons blood, blaring the most recent JRE, while simultaneously ripping a bowl of DMT so he can plan how hes going to monopolize the NFL again.

S:2 E:16 NY6 Preview & Signing Day Recap

The Boys are back just in time to preview the NY6 Bowl games! We make our picks, put a bow on our teams seasons, have a HEATED DEBATE about Lincoln Riley, and Christian is triggered!

 

S:2 E:15 Conference Championship MEGA SHOW

It’s here! Conference Championship Weekend! We’re picking all 10 games and this is a huge week for the boys and the ATS rankings. As much excitement as there is around this weekend we’re also sad because college football is almost over, but we don’t need to talk about that yet.

S:2 E:14 The President Of The Committee To Get Tulane Ranked

The Boys are back and The President Of The Committee To Get Tulane Ranked (Christian’s Brother in Law Jared) joins the show. Garrett is going all out against the CFB Playoff Committee, and he’s looking for reinforcements. We get a little into the weed with the playoff talk. This weeks slate stinks, so we had some fun, made some picks and got ready for next week!

Colleges Are Wasting Time & Money Chasing “The Perfect Coach” For Their Football Teams

There is no sport quite like College Football. The drama, the tradition, the players, the fans, the committees, and how often the fans tend to disagree with the committees. Every Saturday millions of fans tune in to watch their team play and unfortunately there will always be one loser. With theses losses it leads fans to go on an outrageous rampage filled with #FIRE(Coach) tweets. Here are some of my favorites from recent weeks.

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Fans will do and say anything to see their team win one game! So lets all take a minute to agree that tweeting about how your teams coach need to be fired is hilarious (although sometimes its true) But most of these fans need to chill out. Rome wasnt built in a day and neither was any college football program that is having success today. If you think Alabama fans wanted to fire Saban after after he went 2-6  after taking over the team in ’07, youre probably right! Guess what? They didnt and Alabama has won 5 National Championships since then. Dabo Swinney was 29-19 in his first 4 seasons at Clemson, now the team has 2 National Titles and is currently on a 25 game win streak.

Winning takes time. But it shouldnt cost you money. Why waste your time privately raising $18,000,000 to fire Willie Taggert or paying Dabo Swinney nearly $9.4 Million? There a plenty of people out there who could be college coaches and do a damn good job. Some guy sitting on his couch right now might be the greatest college football coach nobody will ever know about because a university wasnt willing to take a chance.

Football is a demanding sport, and coaching football is a demanding job. The phrase there is no off season is true, especially in college, where recruiting is a year round job. These universities need to take chances on who they hire, they need some dawgs, grinders, people who are willing to work extremely hard, work long hours, go above and beyond expectations, someone who is willing to be extremely underpaid so money can be pumped back into the program and the facilities, because if you dont have a slide like Clemson does, how do you expect to land ANY 5 Star recruits????

Basically what I’m sayin is that a college needs to let me be its head coach. Sure I never played college football and I was never a grad assistant, but who cares?? I watch enough games and read enough tweets to know how to not suck! First order of business as head coach, something insane, have a funeral for the old program, bury a football in the middle of the practice field, start a fire, WHO KNOWS, but whatever it was it would get my players to trust me. Science! Maybe i’d hire Bill Nye? But whatever school I’m at would have a lot of new internships available because I want all the sport science kids in the building to figure out how to make our team bigger, faster, and stronger. Analytics? You better believe it. I want as many math majors as possible in the box on game day. Look at me creating jobs. Oh, and we’re getting a strength coach that looks like one of these guys. Every great team needs an electric factory like one of these guys sprinting up and down the sideline on game day.

I would be honest with the media, I wouldnt lie and say that we were an offensive coordinator away from a national title *cough, Manny Diaz, *cough. Guess what guys and gals, we’re probably gunna stink, but we’re gunna put forth a good effort to win a bowl game, and we’re gunna pour a vast majority of our resources into recruiting cause in 2 years we’ll be awesome.

So why not take a chance on your boy? I’ll even sign a contract with a very reasonable buyout clause, a brand new Tesla Model 3, not $18,000,000, like that underachiever in Tallahassee. Under pay me, please, remember we need that slide.

Oh yeah, and I got a guy to be one of my assistants that isnt afraid to challenge other coaches to fights, his names Christian. Scared Larry Fedora so bad he’s just a WR Coach now, shame, real shame.

-Garrett